The first thought a person has when they decide to search for enlightenment inside of themselves always stems from a mixture of childlike curiosity and doubt. The curiosity is a natural reaction of any being; the same can be said about doubt. There could be a plethora of reasons why a person may begin this journey. There may be none at all. This is not the matter at hand. What is happening is that a person is beginning to observe an element of themselves that breaks away from their belongings, their external environment. They aren’t forgetting that these things exist completely, or committing to a new-age fad that suddenly emerged with the onset of hipster-fever. They are dedicating much-needed attention to themselves. Warranted attention.
Whether it be from some recent trauma, some realizations within oneself or a loved one giving advice. Each and every reason for delving into the realms of our own consciousness is warranted. Not one reason is deserving of more respect or attention. Who are we to judge someone else’s reasoning?
These enlightenment-seekers are dedicating their understanding and awareness to others. By practicing meditation and compassion, they are dedicating love to themselves and others. The selfless nature of looking inside of yourself projects upon the world in ways that are unseen. The abundance of energy that radiates from the person that look within themselves for peace and happiness, compared to the opposite, is valuable to that person and to everyone in their external environment.
I would be a hypocrite if I were to say that I practiced these things daily without interruption. Anyone who knows me would tell you that inside my brain lives what feels like a trampoline. Each thought bouncing off of the other, all mostly unrelated. When I was younger it was harder to control. I wasn’t sure what it was at the time. However, as I have grown I have come to appreciate the comical inside-narrative. I was restless, agitated and bored. I sometimes became overcome with emotion; never understanding how to control it.
What happened was that I stepped back and started to declutter my mind. I didn’t try to concentrate too much. In fact, I did the opposite. I tried to clear my mind and really absorb what was naturally occurring around me. The birds singing, dogs barking, children crying. What I began to notice was that suddenly my mind was clear enough after a little practice. I noticed my emotions emerging one by one; Reacting to the external stimulants around me. After all of this time having what felt like New York-style chaos building suburbs in my mind, it became noticeably more observant and peaceful. I have been practicing this for a while now and I stand by it. After all, I owed it to myself. My own experiences had left me stressed, preoccupied and selfish. Not once did I ever step back to think of the effect that my thought processes had on those around me and myself. My world was a myriad of self-doubt and crippling insecurity. Not only that, but also self-destructive behaviour that seemed to stem from the needs to rebel against everything peaceful within myself.
Now, today, I can at least say that I am making an effort to be the person that I want to be; Not someone that I think others would like me to be. It all comes from releasing yourself from any perceptions of what creates your inner peace. Your inner peace comes from actually dedicating time to yourself to be completely whole and without insecurity and doubt. You are worth it. Every single second of it.
To be a person who can admit that they are not happy within themselves, and showing that you want to change for the better shows courage. It shows that you have the strength to change what is inside of you. Your external environment, your ego, your self-doubt as well as insecurities cause your inner peace to diminish if they become so strong that you can no longer control them. You really do owe it to yourself to find the understand and awareness within yourself to combat these things effectively. You are a beautiful soul filled with intense energy. That energy can only grow and exert itself onto you and your life if you nurture it properly.
When the flower within you blossoms,
Your nectar spreads.
It’s sweet, unique fragrance is smelt for miles,
All because you choose to bloom.
Do not wither, little flower.
Spring has never left.
All the sun and rain to nourish you,
But never let it wither or drown you.
You are stronger than you know.
You are more valuable than you know.
YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Keep the fire lit within you – Sinead x